trust issues

do you ever feel like you never wanna trust someone again? i hate those people who can’t keep their mouth shut, like what the fuck? is it really hard for you to keep mum about some things? i don’t even know if i could still trust someone again about my personal stuffs. although it happens a couple of times now, it still makes me indignant. ’cause it makes you feel betrayed, and the feeling of betrayal sucks for real. and also one of the things that makes me cringe even more is when they say that “you didn’t tell me to keep quiet don’t you?” like wtf? do i really need to tell you that for you to understand? fuck shallow minded people. fuck all of you. 





We live in such a cruel world where there is no humanity at all. People are killing one another. For the sake of what? empowerment? authority? Do they really have to kill innocent lives just to get the attention they want and rule the world by fear and fright? What is happening right now might happen again in the near future, we may not know if a certain place is safe or not, or rather if we are still safe- in this fucked up world that we have. To be honest I’ve never been this anxious about the occurrence in the society ’cause I’m sick and tired of knowing and hearing the same news and stories, but what happened recently is something that we should be aware of, and for fuck’s sake, something that we should value and give attention to. This isn’t a joke anymore. Why does innocent people and their families need to suffer from the things that they don’t even deserve? No one deserves to suffer from things like this, only those monsters or losers (like what Donald Trump says) who are behind of all of it.

I felt terrified and guilty at the same time ’cause I can’t do anything to help those people who are in need. Like how am I supposed to sleep and secure myself while others are suffering and losing their loved ones and their homes. But the least thing that I can do right now is to pray. Pray not only for those people and places that were affected by the bombing incidents, but also to the world- and its people. I pray for humanity. I pray for love and peace. I pray for every single person to be safe. I pray and hope for the best. I pray to you God, to help us and guide us- always.


(n) finding something good without looking for it

I am a believer. I believe in destiny. There’s no such thing as coincidence in this life, but rather a series of events that are destined or bound to happen. I must say that we make our own decisions in life but it’s the ‘fate’  who is behind of everything; I think fate gives us the (little) signs that will determine our decisions whether to be happy or not. It’s like we are fated to the things we choose. But there are some unexpected moments in our life that we didn’t know will happen or something that we didn’t look forward to- and that is simply called Serendipity, or ‘fortunate accidents’ like what Sara Thomas defined it in the movie. Read More »

Christmas season..

and so all the negative thoughts about it.

Ever since I was a child I never like the concept of Christmas. I actually don’t get it why all of them were looking forward to celebrate it every year. Like I always ask myself ‘what so special about it?’, why are they wasting their time and effort to do everything just to make their Christmas worthwhile. I guess I’m not just the only one who hates  (the concept of) Christmas, I can feel that there are some who also doesn’t want to celebrate it.

Especially this year..Read More »

what about now

Am I the only one who feel worthless when something happens, whether it’s good or bad? Like I always put the blame on myself even though I should not. It feels like there’s something heavy inside me that I should let go. It keeps on stopping me from doing something, it keeps on holding me back. I don’t know what exactly that is but one thing is for sure, that’s the (main) reason why I let myself live miserably and be drowned in sadness.

oh life

There are times that we really feel empty. We feel sad and terrified at the same time. And sometimes it happens for no specific reason. I guess it’s all part of life. Life has so many things to offer. It couldn’t just give you perfect happiness everyday, it always comes in two.