suicidal note:

does it even exist?

i don’t think so


trust issues

do you ever feel like you never wanna trust someone again? i hate those people who can’t keep their mouth shut, like what the fuck? is it really hard for you to keep mum about some things? i don’t even know if i could still trust someone again about my personal stuffs. although it happens a couple of times now, it still makes me indignant. ’cause it makes you feel betrayed, and the feeling of betrayal sucks for real. and also one of the things that makes me cringe even more is when they say that “you didn’t tell me to keep quiet don’t you?” like wtf? do i really need to tell you that for you to understand? fuck shallow minded people. fuck all of you. 




We live in such a cruel world where there is no humanity at all. People are killing one another. For the sake of what? empowerment? authority? Do they really have to kill innocent lives just to get the attention they want and rule the world by fear and fright? What is happening right now might happen again in the near future, we may not know if a certain place is safe or not, or rather if we are still safe- in this fucked up world that we have. To be honest I’ve never been this anxious about the occurrence in the society ’cause I’m sick and tired of knowing and hearing the same news and stories, but what happened recently is something that we should be aware of, and for fuck’s sake, something that we should value and give attention to. This isn’t a joke anymore. Why does innocent people and their families need to suffer from the things that they don’t even deserve? No one deserves to suffer from things like this, only those monsters or losers (like what Donald Trump says) who are behind of all of it.

I felt terrified and guilty at the same time ’cause I can’t do anything to help those people who are in need. Like how am I supposed to sleep and secure myself while others are suffering and losing their loved ones and their homes. But the least thing that I can do right now is to pray. Pray not only for those people and places that were affected by the bombing incidents, but also to the world- and its people. I pray for humanity. I pray for love and peace. I pray for every single person to be safe. I pray and hope for the best. I pray to you God, to help us and guide us- always.

blog #12

Life itself is uncertain. We can say that there’s a lot of words or definitions that can define life, but it doesn’t give you the satisfaction of knowing what life really is. You don’t find meaning to life, all you have to do- is to give meaning to it. Finding and giving meaning to life are two different things.

fieldtrip 2k17

so I guess this blog would be all about my fieldtrip experience this 2017..

I don’t usually write a blog about irrelevant things or just simple experiences that happen in our daily lives. At first, I considered every fieldtrip as dull and as boring as it may seems. I guess some people would probably agree with me. Fieldtrip is not really an ‘educational’ thing to us students, we don’t usually see it as a remarkable one, instead we considered it as a ‘no-aral day’ or somehow free-time. But this time, my fieldtrip became extra-special, what I mean is, it’s more of a time to contemplate or reflect about some things in this world- or in life rather. So let me share to you guys what happened last February 02, 2017..


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(n) finding something good without looking for it

I am a believer. I believe in destiny. There’s no such thing as coincidence in this life, but rather a series of events that are destined or bound to happen. I must say that we make our own decisions in life but it’s the ‘fate’  who is behind of everything; I think fate gives us the (little) signs that will determine our decisions whether to be happy or not. It’s like we are fated to the things we choose. But there are some unexpected moments in our life that we didn’t know will happen or something that we didn’t look forward to- and that is simply called Serendipity, or ‘fortunate accidents’ like what Sara Thomas defined it in the movie. Read More »